My friend died this week

My friend died this week…

As spring has quickly turned into summer, I have found myself moving from task to task, from what must be done today to what must be done first to what is screaming the loudest.  I am sure everyone feels that way at some point in life.  Not stopping to just enjoy the moment even though you are enjoying the journey.

When I was 15, my father moved us from East Tennessee to Middle Tennessee to minister to a congregation in Dickson County.  To say that I was not happy about this was an understatement. I was more than happy to tell anyone who would listen how unfair this move was for me and how horrible my life had become being away from the only world I had ever known.  Looking back, I would not have wanted to be in the same room with me! 

There was a lady, a single mother of two sweet little girls, and a rowdy, loveable toddler boy that came into my family's life.  She was quiet and very humble but had a way of saying something without saying something…. Do you know what I mean?  My mom kept her son while the girls were in school, and she went to nursing school.  We quickly became friends outside of church, and she would often stop by with the kids just to visit, we were so happy to have "company' because all our friends and family were back home.  Now, if you have never been around a pastor's home in ancient times, you may not fully understand the rest of this story, but stick with me here. 

In those days, the pastor would receive a "pounding" of groceries every first Sunday of the month.  It was tradition for little country churches to have this custom.  Over time, we realized that our new friend gave us such nice poundings each month when we knew she did not have the resources to do so.  She went beyond what anyone else would have considered acceptable.  She did it because she loved us, and we were extremely grateful.

Over time, I found out that she had previously been a beautician of sorts, and in those days, all the girls had perms in their hair.  Of course, my parents couldn't afford for me to keep a perm in my thin, stringy hair, but mom would give her the money to buy a box perm, and she would put it in my hair at home.  She was actually giving me a perm on the day that the Space Shuttle Challenger went down on January 28, 1986.  It had snowed, and we were all out of school.  We had the television on, but the sound was turned down.  It's funny how you remember exactly where you were and what you did during such times.

On another occasion, the youth at church had a spaghetti fundraiser after church on Sunday, and teenagers being teenagers, we somehow managed to burn the sauce, and when I say burned….it was awful.  No one complained; they just gave us the donation we were looking for, and I am sure they went home and fixed a sandwich because that spaghetti was really horrible.  We had LOTS of sauce left over…. I wonder why no one wanted seconds???? Anyway, my friend offered to take the sauce home and "fix it," and we would have it after church that night.  When she returned with the sauce, I remember tasting it and saying, "What in the world did you do to this sauce?"  I thought she had thrown it out and made a new homemade sauce.  She simply replied, "I put three mustard seeds in it and said a prayer over it."  To this day, that sauce remains one of the best-tasting sauces I have ever experienced.

Her life wasn't easy, but no one ever knew it.  One Christmas, she bought presents and wrapped them all under the tree.  While they were gone, someone came into their house and stole every single gift…no one ever knew until weeks later what had happened.  I think one of the kids finally said something, but she never did.

As life happens, Dad moved us back to East Tennessee; she moved away with her family.  She graduated from nursing school, raised her family, and had a career.  After I was married and had small children of my own, I heard that her dad had passed away, and so I went to the funeral home.  We sat in my car, and she talked about how heartbroken she was that her father had died alone and how she had held the hand of many a person so they didn't have to die alone.  I knew then at that moment that I was sitting with a jewel.  I was no longer a bratty teenager who saw someone who would endure my attitude but a real, genuine person who cared about people in general and those individuals who had no one to care for them.

Years went by, and I wasn't sure what had happened to my friend. Then, Facebook came along, and there she was.  We swapped a hello, a quick catch-up, and a "Happy Birthday," but nothing serious.

I had heard she had been sick, and last year, she came back to our area, and her kids had given her a big party for all the locals to come by and say hello.  She was as beautiful as ever and gracious beyond what I even remembered.  Even though she knew her diagnosis, she never made the party about her, she was so kind about asking everyone how they were and what they had been up to in all those missing years.

I came across her address a few weeks back and sent her a card.  She has been on my mind ever since.  My sister received a call that she wasn't doing well. My parents had wanted to go up to see her but just weren't physically able to do so…. then we received word that she had passed gently with her sweet family surrounding her.  I was so glad that she received the send-off that she had so kindly given to strangers for years. 

I know she has so many jewels in her crown for being the hands and feet of Jesus in her quite gentle way.

Thinking about so many examples, my friend left me to follow. I smiled because I was amongst a legend that had never been discovered by fame and fortune. Those are the best kind of people to be around….

Even though she wasn't in my daily life, she was dear to my heart, and I feel very privileged to call her a friend.

Dear Judy, I will see you on the other side one day!